Zach Galifianakis [comedian, actor, writer]

By: Editor | August 18, 2009 | Ten by Ten

Zach Galifianakis lives in the mountains of his home state of North Carolina. When he’s not there, he does stand-up around the country. His career began in the back of a hamburger restaurant in New York City. At the age of 26, he quit his job as busboy and moved to California for his first acting job. Since then, he has appeared in several films, which include Out Cold, Into The Wild, Below, Visioneers and the documentary The Comedians of Comedy. He is currently starring in his first major role in The Hangover. In addition to movies, he has also been constructive in making and starring in music videos for Fionna Apple and Kayne West. He has also been featured on several TV shows including Wondershowzen, Tim and Eric, Dog Bites Man and his own short-lived late-night talk show Late World with Zach. He has also been involved in two online series. One was called Between Two Ferns, a fake cable-access show that has real guests like Natalie Portman, Michael Cera, Jon Hamm and Jimmy Kimmel. The other series was an ad campaign for Absolut vodka, which he produced with Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim. His live stand-up DVD, Live at the Purple Onion, was produced in 2006. He is currently shooting a show for HBO that stars Jason Schwartzman and Ted Danson.

Walk us through your most colorful childhood memory.
Being on a small fishing boat in Greece that I swam out to; listening to the fishermen talking about philosophy; realizing I do not speak Greek that well or really at all; diving back into the water; having the silence of the ocean water encompass my being; then with my eyes open under the water, looking to my right and seeing a porpoise wink at me. We hit it off and still keep in touch. 

What is the strangest number you have programmed into your phone?
I have the pope’s pager number. When he gets near a pay phone, sometimes I hear from him. He once called me from Ibiza, Spain, and wanted me to look up the price of a lawnmower online. I was busy and told him I did not have time, and I have not heard from him since. 

Describe your closest brush with death.
I once tried to hang myself from a ceiling fan. Luckily, I am too fat for hanging. 

If you could choose any five people, dead or alive, to have dinner with, who would they be and why?
Yulia Tymoshenko (prime minister of the Ukraine) — to discuss leadership and feminism. 
Jared from the Subway ads — to try to get him to eat something besides a submarine sandwich. 
Ghandi — so I could call someone and say, “You are never going to believe who I am having dinner with.”
John Logie Baird — the inventor of television. I would ask him if he knew that his invention would lead to something like VH1, would he rethink the whole concept.
Gian Lorenzo Bernini — he is the master of sculpture. I really would love to know how he took marble and made it into skin. I also needed a pretentious answer here. 

What do you consider your greatest failure?
My “whatever” tattoo on my lower back.   

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
My investment last week in The Von Dutch Trucker hat company. 

What is your most cherished possession and why?
My poster of Blossom that hangs in my office — that and my spunk. 

How will you spend this evening?
Tonight, I will bike over a bridge to have dinner with friends. Does everything have to be a joke?   

Describe a vivid or recurring dream you’ve had?
It is a daydream and it involves Rush Limbaugh and Carl Rove square dancing nude together. They eventually get into a chicken fight at the square dance with another couple of men. Rove sits on Limbaugh’s shoulders but the wrong way. Everyone is laughing and a gay marriage breaks out, and the two of them are kicked off the universe.

How would you define love?
Love is the thing that should wake you up in the morning. 

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